


Advice

by crystalblinks (orphan_account)



Series: Sagacity (Advice) [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Barry is a smart asshole, F/F, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, References to Drugs, casino - Freeform, coldflash - Freeform, so much fucking angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7048066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/crystalblinks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen has learned over the years that advice is a fickle, self serving thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

_ Maybe it’s just me, but I honestly think life should be easy. We’re all dying slowly and no one asked to be here, so life should just be simple, lack luster. Of course that’s not how life works though, is it?  _

 

I’ve been given lots of advice, from my mother, my father, various adults and friends, all in the same self serving vein. When people give advice it’s almost always going to benefit them in the end. My mother, when she was young, when her shoulders didn’t slump, told me that the only way to move forward is to assess the past. This was before she died of course, before business became too much, before my father did his damage. Of all the advice I’ve been given I’ve held onto that one. In the end, my assessment of situations may have added to her life, given her a few more years, so really even the ones who love us the most are out for themselves, even unintentionally.

Back in high school I learned about fight or flight. The part of us that just wants to protect itself. We are wired to be narcissists. I understand why people find the innocence of youth so alluring. It was a time where pretenses didn’t exist. When being an asshole was a fact of life, not something slowly covered up by smiles and faux altruistic words. Childhood is simplistic. Youth is simplistic. The ability to be open about one’s true nature is a luxury no one can afford. Especially not in this business. 

My father, is a man of few words and many actions. Stoic and cold he lives his life on the right side of icey. He wouldn’t be successful if he was kind, if he didn’t hold everyone under his command captive with fear. Power suits him, although it didn’t always. He used to be the bumbling husband of the boss’s eldest daughter, just trying to make his way in this harsh world. But a few well timed favors and vacancies allowed him to rise to power with a favorable gaze from my grandfather. My grandfather has outlived all of his children, they were all lost in tragic ways, many of which were betrayal, but when asked about the cause of my mother’s demise, the consensus is love.

She loved my father, but it was her own thirst for power that caused her demise. She loved recognition, praise and when it came to acquiring the empire, her father’s empire she was no match for my father. She was cunning, smart, better suited for the throne, but my father was faster, smarter, better with his hands. They never found out who killed her. Everyone knew, even my grandfather had a sneaking suspicion, that my father was guilty. But they could never pin it on him. That’s why he’s where he is today.

My father refused to groom me, refused to groom anyone really. He said it was because he was waiting for me to reach a certain age, but really he won’t let go of the empire until his dying day. He gave me leeway though, capital. Enough to make a name for myself, to add to his successes, but he would never let me in on the main family, never in a million years. 

The casino, the one that runs out of the abandoned S.T.A.R Labs is my empire. I push my father’s product out, and push money into his, and my various other partner’s pockets. It’s good, for now. But like many things, I think an appetite for dominance is genetic, it’s not just nurture, but nature as well. I crave power, just like my father, my mother and everyone I’ve ever known. The only difference is that I followed my mother’s advice, and learned from their mistakes.


	2. Loyalties

I met him in a bar one afternoon. It was a Wednesday, one o’clock. Too early for the dancers, too late for the alcoholics. It was an old bar, one that has been visited by and kept afloat by many generations of Allen's. Coming to the bar is one of those pesky traditions that people insist on keeping to give some semblance of ritual to their lackluster lives. If it’s your birthday, go to Snart’s. Anniversary? Snart’s. I’ve lived long enough to abhor the mahogany bar stools and the soft jazz music, and I know I’m not the only one, I’m just smart enough not to voice it.

My fifteenth birthday was spent at Snart’s. Drinking my first beer, laughing along with my father and various cousins about some grueling anecdote that wasn’t funny or in good taste. But Lewis never minded, he just wiped the bar, refilled drinks and smiled. Lewis knew how to work a person. By no means was he a role model. He was an insufferable bastard who was violent and manipulative, but he was damn good at it. 

If Lewis Snart wanted something he’d get it. He’d flash a smile, offer a kind smile, earn a person’s trust, but then he’d turn on you like a pancake on the griddle. I admire that about him. It’s hard to gain trust. Trust is a rare currency, it can be traded, bought, but at a much greater expense, although I’d wager it’s worth it. I only trust three people in the world, Iris, Cisco and myself. If you can't trust yourself, your wit, your gut. You’re barely existing.

It was a Wednesday. It was miserable outside, the fog heavy, dense. The kind of weather that people use as an excuse to stay home, wrapped up in their ignorance, their partner's. It was the reason I was at the bar, I was supposed to meet with my father, but he decided to stay home, blamed the fog, blamed his bed mate, blamed anyone and anything other than himself. He was becoming lazier with age, harsher with age. A destructive combination, but who was I to inform him of this?

Lisa Snart was leaning over the bar, a gold sweater stretched across her shoulders. She’s owned the bar for the last six years, twelve if you take into account the years when Lewis was just sick, not dead. She’s mischievous in all the ways her father wasn’t, she has a good nature. But she was berating me about my plans for the rest of the day. “You’re young and hot sweetheart, go do something with your life!”

“Lisa, you are only five years older than me, not five decades.”

“I’m older. I’ve got more experiences, so really you should be listening to me.”  She spoke with a triumphant smirk, even though she knew I wasn’t going anywhere. I hate this bar, the people that frequent it, but I do enjoy Lisa. Her spunk and her kindness are magnetic. 

The door to the bar swung open to reveal a man, wrapped in a long black trench coat. His icy cerulean eyes scanned the room. “Lenny, stop casing the bar and have a drink.” Lisa said her gaze focused on the man.

“Well hello to you too Trainwreck.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Barry, this is my brother Len, Lenny this is Barry Allen.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” He drawled, taking the seat next to me. He had on the same smirk that Lisa often wore, and I could see the sibling resemblance. He was handsome, all salt and pepper hair and confidence. Len kept his gaze focused on me, even when Lisa set a beer in front of him. “I didn’t know the Allen’s still came here.”

“Almost everyday.”

“What about you?” He asked, as if his eyes, piercing, all knowing, could see right through me.

“Only when the situation calls for it.” Len smirked, and shifted slightly. 

“Why haven’t I seen you here before?”

“Moved to Starling City for a while, but I’m back to help Lisa out with the bar.”

“Hmm, loyalties.” He looked surprised at this comment, but only for a brief moment, before he schooled his face once more. 

“A man like you must not have any.”

“Not any binding ones, no.”

“That’s a shame. What’s a life without loyalties.”

“A safe one.”

“Sounds lonely.” Len looked at me, his brow crinkled slightly, almost unnoticeable, before finishing off his drink. “See you around Barry Allen.” He stood from his place at the bar and waved to Lisa whose attention had been drawn away to another customer.

I met him in a bar one afternoon six years ago, when he was thirty one and I was twenty two. It was one o’clock and the atmosphere was heavy and damp, when I met the only person I’d ever give the satisfaction of my loyalty.


	3. Children

I have never understood the want to parent. I get the want to pass on genes, to have offspring, but to raise a child seems like a burden, a limitation. Children shift priorities, self preservation is no longer as important as the safety of a child. It softens and weakens. Children are a weakness. Iris has children, she has a big heart already, the mother hen of the casino, but soon her son became her priority, especially after Eddie’s death. She withdrew from the business, got a legitimate job, began taking part in the formal economy but she never misses Wednesday night dinners. If she did Len would kill her. 

The casino is the closest thing I have to a child, although it’s not a weakness. It’s an advantage, it’s income, for many years of my life it was home. Cisco insists on calling it my baby, even though he knows I detest the slobbering things. He only does this when I tell him about my plans for upping security, says that I’m a helicopter parent. “You want more guards?” He admonishes, from where he’s standing in the doorway. “We don’t need this many babysitters.” 

Len rolls his eyes from where he’s sitting on the couch, taking apart his gun, just to put it back together. Kendra watches Len, mimicking his movements with wide eyed innocence and an eagerness. She’s the baby of the group, still learning the ropes after being recruited by Cisco and Sara. She’s taken a liking to Len, she’s learned from him, and she’s taught him some things too. They make a good team, not as good as me and Len though. Never as good as me and Len. “You know Ramon, that’s one more person who’ll jump in front of your scrawny ass if the cops ever storm this place.” Len doesn’t look up from his gun as he says this, still reassembling his gun. 

“I thought we paid them off for a reason.” 

“It’s a necessary precaution. My decision is final.” Cisco seemed to accept this despite the look on his face. Cisco, still has a childlike petulance to him, he’s stubborn and naive. He likes to complain about security measures, but the second someone gets shot, he’ll be leaning over my desk yelling about safety. 

Sara appears in the doorway, winking at Kendra, causing the girl to blush before turning towards me. “Hey boss, my guy from Star City is here.” Len grimaces, barely noticeable to anyone else in the room. He looks up and catches my eye. We’ve both got history in Starling City, his professional and mine sexual, but we agreed to see Sara’s friend, not out of loyalty to her, but out of the friend's loyalty to Sara. 

“Bring him in.” 

I haven’t seen Oliver Queen since I was sixteen. He was spending the summer in Central with his sister and was looking for an adventure, a fling. He was my first everything and despite the fact that love never entered the equation, I’ll always remember the sex. And here he is, green sweatpants and smirk just like when he was twenty, asking me for a job. 

“Ollie!” Sara calls. I can feel Len tense. I told him about Oliver, when we divulged all of our past affairs over his famous pad thai and two bottles of wine that Lisa had left at our apartment. Len is possessive, not crazy possessive, but he wraps his arms around me every time the cashier at the supermarket flirts with me possessive. 

He whistled, low and seductive. “Barry, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.” His eyes trail what part of my body isn’t cloaked by my desk. He’s bolder now, much more confident, but there is something in his eyes that wasn’t there before, a hardness, a pain. 

“It’s been ages Mr. Queen.” Sara looks at me, her eyebrow raised, obviously making the connection before Cisco and Kendra. 

“No need for formalities, we know each other too well for that.” I can see Len glaring at him out of the corner of my eye. I know I’m going to hear about this later, he’ll turn green with jealousy and he’ll claim me, mark my neck and body, whisper “mine” into my hips. People are possessive creatures. We want what’s ours, especially in the states. It’s why we love capitalism, we get our own. It’s the ownership that drives us the ability to possess, to dominate something, someone. We love to be in control. 

“Things change Mr. Queen. Please take a seat.” He takes the chair in front of me, and leans forward trying to establish control over the situation, over me. Oliver has just mistaken me for the bumbling high schooler her knew that summer. He thinks he can control me with the bat of an eye or a smile. Maybe then, but definitely not now, oh how wrong he is. 

“You need more security. I have what you need.”

“Do you? Because the warrant out for your arrest could be more trouble than you're worth,”

He grits his teeth. “How do you know about that?”

“I’m not one for cliches, but I do my research.”

“That was a misunderstanding. It’s being cleared up as we speak.”

“Still, you’re a liability. You just being here could have negative effects on the state of my business.”

“What about all the other assholes sitting out there betting drug money on poker games?”

“I never said I was a saint Mr. Queen. I never said my clients were saints. I’m just being conscious of my decisions, this is my baby after all. You understand, don’t you?”

He nods.

“Good, I’ll get back to you after your issue clears up.”

Something in his face changes, the pain hovering behind his eyes shifts to the forefront of his face. “I need this Barry. I need you to take a chance on me.”

“I don’t take chances, never have. That’s not how you run a business, that’s not how you live a life. I’m not here to hand out jobs and pity just because we fucked when we were kids. Thank you Mr. Queen but we’re considering other options.” 

He looks hurt, Sara resigned, Kendra and Cisco surprised. Len is putting his gun back together. “Ollie.” Oliver stands up from the chair and makes his way out the room, ignoring Sara’s call. 

Len stands up, holsters his gun and places a kiss to my cheek. “See you at home Scarlet.” He motions for Kendra to follow him and Cisco makes his own exit soon after. 

Sara sits down, where Oliver just vacated, she’s analysing me, reading my face. Len taught her how to do that. They didn’t spend hours staring at me, but he taught her how to read a loved one. She does this with Kendra, like Len does it with me. They’re so similar, driven and intelligent, protective. 

“I didn’t know you had a thing for blue eyes.” Sara says, her arms folded across her chest.

“Len’s eyes are green, they look blue...tricky things.” I smile, barely. 

“You know he just took Kendra out there to fuck up Ollie right?”

“I expected as much. Hopefully he won’t kill him, I don’t need more blood staining that pavement.” 

“Bare, give Ollie a chance. Not for old love, but for me.”

“I’ve made myself clear Sara. I do not want that kind of risk over my head, not for a teenage fuck or a good friend. There are things I will and won’t do, and jeopardize my business, my livelihood is not one of them.”

Sara gapes, and stomps away. She says something about me being heartless, like my father, trying to wound me because she didn’t get her way. Co-workers, no matter how old or damaged they are, will always be like children. 


	4. Children (Part Two)

I’ve always loved a good father figure. Maybe it stems from some freudian concept, that my dating older men means I lack a strong father figure and am looking for one through means of sex. There’s definitely a psychological study out there that says I need a strong father figure, that my yearning for one influences the way I am, the way I work. It’s probably been reproduced, and retested, over and over again just so people can see that there is someone out there so much more screwed up than them, or rather, that there is someone out there just as screwed up as them.

Iris has a strong father figure, one that took her to baseball games and looked down on her choices as an adult, the main one being her marrying into one of Central City’s largest crime families. He also didn’t like her having a baby with said man from the Allen family, but he got a grandson out of it so really, he couldn’t detest that decision too much. Holland is eight years old with eyes like chocolate saucers and an energy that is unmatched. He’s got sandy brown hair like his father and a spirit like him too, one that bears a weighty reminder of his absence, but also the beauty he left behind. 

Wednesday night dinner is an opportunity for everyone that works under me to enjoy time away from the job, to enjoy the people that they work with, to enjoy their little section of the Allen family. Len normally cooks, unless Lisa comes over, then she take over our kitchen and the attention of our guests, all though I’ve never minded. I’ve always enjoyed anonymity in small doses. Being unnoticable is one of the best things a person can do, to be cloaked in the shadows, understated. It becomes much sweeter when you emerge victorious, when your name is no longer one forgotten in passing, but the one on everyone’s lips. 

Tonight is one of those nights where I can enjoy some semblance of invisibility. Lisa has dominated the kitchen along with Iris who looks over at Holland every fifteen minutes or so as he bounces up and down on Len’s lap, playing with the large ruby in his ring. Little does the boy know that’s my favorite spot as well, but despite being in friendly company it’s not in good taste to mention aspects of my sex life, especially in regards to my nephew. Holland told me once that he prefers Len’s ruby to my sapphire, he says it sparkles more, that red pops. He then proceeded to make that popping sound that all children do when they’re trying to either annoy adults or emphasis a point. 

“Len.” He looks up at me as I motion to our bedroom. “I need help getting the extra plates.” Sara and Kendra are too wrapped up in each other to acknowledge my feeble excuse, just as Cisco is too wrapped up in his phone to notice. Len pulls Holland off his lap and sends him toward Cisco, promising him a quick return. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Go ask Iris if you can take Holland out for a guys weekend.”

He raises an eyebrow at me, searching my face for even the slightest hint at how I’m feeling. “What’s wrong Barry?” He asks again, forceful this time, but his voice still has it’s compassionate lilt.

“You obviously enjoy the boy, and you know I can’t give you children, so why not take Holland out, become sort of a father figure for him since Eddie’s gone.” We’ve only spoken about this once before. He mentioned his desire to parent which led into a lengthy argument about my distaste for children.  _ “You could stand a little weakness Barry! Not everyone can be as perfect as you are!”  _ He left after that argument. We didn’t have any contact for days, but when he returned to our apartment it was as if it never happened. 

“Can’t or won’t.”

“Len, I can’t have a distraction like that, I need to be focused to keep the casino going.” He sighs and runs his hands over his closely shaved head. It’s what he does when he’s frustrated with me or Lisa. 

“I’m so tired of work coming before family. You know why I started Wednesday night dinners? Because it would be the only way to get your mind off of work. To spend time with the people you care about.”

“Work is important.” 

“More important than me? Because I’ve given up a lot to be with you Barry and if you would just get off your fucking high horse long enough to see that I only want this one thing!” His eyes are wide and pleading, like he’s begging for his last meal.

“It’s why I’m offering Holland.”

“You can’t use your nephew as a bargaining chip! Not everything is a fucking business transaction!”

“Stop shouting. We have guests.” Len stares at me for a moment, his mouth opened slightly. 

The room is eerily silent, as he plays with the ruby on his left ring finger “No, actually. I think you’ve got guests.” He pulls it off in a swift motion, and sets it calmly on the dresser before exiting the room. I can hear Lisa asking him where he’s going and Kendra asking if he needs any help. I’m not even in the room, but I know that Holland and Lisa are the only ones who notice the ring’s sudden absence. Holland because he’s infatuated with the stone, and Lisa because she knows her brother like the back of her hand. 

She enters the room like a hurricane, all narrowed eyes and scepticism. I’ve learned that the Snart’s alway expect for people to hurt them. Lewis engrained it into them, or beat it into them rather. They expect the worst in everyone. Lisa in particular, she doesn’t trust like Len does, she doesn’t love like Len does. Maybe it’s because she saw him take the brunt of their father’s rage, maybe it’s because she had a front row seat to what horrors human beings are really capable of. 

“Why did Lenny storm off?” 

“It was just a domestic spat.”

“You and Len don’t have domestic spats. You argue about whether or not to murder a narc, not what linens you want to buy at the store.” 

“He wants kids.”

“And you don’t?”

“I don’t want the weakness, the vulnerability.”

A wave of sadness washes over her face, it’s almost as if she pities me. “Sweetheart, there is no reason for you to be the golden boy one hundred percent of the time, especially when it comes to your partner. I get how important business is to you, but when you’re old and you can’t work wouldn’t you rather have a husband, a family by your side than a run down casino?” 

“I can have success and love.”

“No you can’t. One is always going to be more important than the other, you just have to decide which.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that children are a liability.”

“It doesn’t, but you’ve got to compromise.”

“Compromise is for playgrounds and fools.” 

She tilts her head sharply to the left as if she didn’t hear what I said. Her eyes burn bright with a previously unknown fire.“You’re going to loose him because you’re selfish. You are a selfish prick who is going to end up alone and loveless because you love that fucking casino more than you love my brother.” Lisa storms out of the room in a similar fashion to Len. It’ll never cease to amaze me just how alike the two are.

Len will be back, he'll wallow for a few days and return to me, slip his engagement ring back on his finger and act as if nothing ever happened. It'll work itself out, and despite Lisa's adamant speech, I am not selfish. I'm cautious, I'm smart and I will never loose Leonard Snart.  
  
  



	5. Sagacity

_ I do not believe in compromise. It’s what parents tell their children to do so they will shut up and leave them alone. It’s a foolish institution where neither party leaves satisfied. My father believes in compromise, forces all of his subordinates to compromise on most matters. He doesn’t take that philosophy to heart, but my father is well versed in hypocrisy.  _

 

It’s been six weeks since I last saw Len. Since I last touched him, felt the arch of his back, the softness of his lips. I see him whenever I close my eyes, the strong curve of his jaw, his smirk and his eyes viridescent and bright, the ones that know me inside and out. I found myself daydreaming about our second anniversary. We spent the week in Rio de Janeiro's rainforest, wrapped in each other and the jungle. I didn’t linger on the sex, or the walk to the city, but the silence. The comfortable hush, it was when I knew he was the only person I could ever love. He sat with his copy of Catch 22, his favorite book, the one that had dog eared pages and was worn from overuse, while I laid with my head in his lap and drew in my old notebooks. I’d abandoned that task in favor of business reports, but in his absence I’ve picked it up again. I’ve picked a lot of things up in Len’s absence, fiddling with his ring when no one’s looking, taking his gun to work, despite my inexperience with the weapon. I stopped grinding my teeth when I abandoned adolescence, but I’ve begun doing it at night, when I can feel the weight of the vacancy in our bed. 

“He’s not in Star.” Sara says from where she’s positioned in the doorway. I’ve got Sara looking for him when she’s not working security, but she’s yet to find anything other than his phone abandoned in a trash can right outside of Starling.

“Look again.”

“Boss, if he doesn’t want to be found we won’t find him.”

“I don’t give a damn! Do what I fucking pay you for!”

“You messed up Bare, don’t put this on me!”

“Sara, do your job. Find my finace.” 

She exits the room swiftly, but I can feel her hesitation, almost as if she wants to yell a bit more. The silence isn’t a comforting one, it’s harsh in its nature. I grab one of my notebooks from the desk. I’ve been drawing Len from memory, trying to capture the lines by his eyes and the tilt of his smirk. The process is a taxing one, physically and emotionally, and it makes me miss him all the more. I never figured myself a masochist, but recent events have shed light on the fact that I love to torture myself.

A hard knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. “I’m busy!” 

“You seem a little hostile Scarlet.” A familiar drawl fills the room. 

Everything within me wants to collapse into his arms but I know by his eyes that he didn’t come back just to sing Kumbaya. “Leonard.”

“Oh cut the shit Barry!” His stance turns defensive.

“We need to argue first, get it all out, because if I fall into your arms now we’ll never do it and this will happen all over again and I can’t do this again Len I can’t.” 

“Fine, let’s fight.” He takes a calming breath before taking a seat in front of me. “I will not come back unless we make some compromises.” As I narrow my eyes at him, he raises his hand. “I know how you feel about compromise, but I can’t go on like this. We can’t go on like this.”

“Name your terms.”

“I want you to take more time off of work. You are training Cisco for a reason.” 

“Done.” Len raises and eyebrow.

“Lisa told me that I can’t have love and success. I’m going to prove her wrong.”

“She said that she blew up on you.” He smirks a little, maybe at my determination, maybe at her spunk. Maybe at both. 

“Your terms.” This time I smile at him. I don’t keep my face impassive. This is Len, he knows me better than my facade. 

“I want children. Not now, but one day.”

“Child. We can have one child.” 

“Really?” He smiles, soft and genuine. He looks young, and I wonder if I’m the one who’s aged, if Len is actually twenty nine and I’m the one kissing forty. By all standards, based on all he’s been through, all the abuse, all of the pain, he shouldn't be able to smile like this, to love like he does. He’s proof of the impossible, and even if I have to compromise I want to spend the rest of my life keeping that smile in place.

“Not now, but one day.”

~~~ Eighteen Years Later~~~

I used to think I handled fear quite well. The fear of falling, the fear of falling in love, a fear of commitment. I learned that years of false fronts and hiding behind the walls and safety of the casino did more damage than good. I dealt with my fear of letting go, my fear of becoming my father and my fear of weakness. I’ve had the opportunity to really find myself, to figure out where I fit in besides behind my desk. 

We went back to Rio. Got married in the rainforest and spent six months enjoying each other and the comfortable silences of intimacy. I gave Cisco and Sara more responsibility. I had a daughter. We adopted her from Starling City when she was four months old, which was almost fifteen years ago. She’s taken to Len, despite her dark umber skin and enigmatic caramel eyes, she’s got his smirk, his brilliance, his heart. Len tells me that she’s like me, intuitive and careful, cautious. Cisco says that we’ve raised the perfect sociopath. 

I find myself listening to my mother’s words, looking back at all of the mistakes, the victories and bettering myself. The one thing she never told me though was that looking into the future is just as important as reflecting on the past, that sometimes moving forward is all that's needed. That sometimes a leap of faith is really all that’s required.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of Advice, it was so fun to write and I'm thinking of adding some one-shots. Stay tuned!


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